Another dessert recipe from Emily, who apparently has lost the ability to cook actual meals.
If you're going to fail, this is the way to do it.
This started when I tried to make truffles from memory instead of consulting the Wilton candy book. I got the proportions all jacked up and wound up with gooey blobs of thick ganache instead of truffles. I’m not willing to waste perfectly good chocolate, so I simply froze the results to use as cupcake frosting. Because the only thing better than a cupcake topped with fluffy buttercream frosting is a cupcake topped with velvety ganache.
Of course, I had to make cupcakes worthy of ganache, so I swiped an idea from Cake Fetish in Albuquerque and whipped up a batch of half-bakes: cupcakes with half-baked chocolate-chip cookie dough in the middle. Yeah, you read that right. And it’s even more awesome than you think it is. Next time you’re in ‘Burque, buy yourself a half-dozen. They’re amazing.
Failed truffles make wonderful cupcake topping.
Start by ruining a batch of truffles: Bring a half-pint of whipping cream to a boil over low heat. Remove from heat and stir in a bag and a half of chocolate chips. Chill in the refrigerator. Once the mixture has chilled, drop by teaspoons onto cookie sheets covered in waxed paper and freeze for 30 minutes or so. Form into balls and store in a freezer bag until ready to use. (This is the same process you would follow for truffles, except you would use 3/4 c. of whipping cream, and after making the balls of chocolate, you would roll them in powdered sugar, chopped nuts, or sprinkles and serve them with coffee as a decadent after-dinner treat. Truffles only look impressive; they’re actually incredibly simple, which makes it all the more sad and pathetic that I managed to screw them up.)
Mix up a batch of cookie dough.
Next, make a batch of chocolate-chip cookie dough. In a large bowl, mix together 2 1/4 c. flour, 1 tsp. baking soda, 1/2 tsp. salt, two sticks of butter (I always melt mine first), 1/2 c. granulated sugar, 3/4 c. brown sugar, 2 tsp. vanilla, 2 eggs, and a bag of chocolate chips.
Prepare your favorite cake mix (I used chocolate, but yellow or white will work just fine) according to package instructions.
Put a blob of cookie dough in the middle of each cupcake.
Line muffin tins with paper cupcake wrappers and half-fill each tin with cupcake batter. Place a rounded teaspoon of cookie dough in the middle of each tin, spoon a little more batter on to cover it, and bake at 325 until tops of cupcakes are springy and not gooey (about 30 min.)
Use frozen ganache to top the cupcakes.
While cupcakes are hot, remove ganache balls from freezer, flatten/stretch into circles big enough to cover the tops of the cupcakes, and place on hot cupcakes. As soon as the ganache starts to get shiny, place in refrigerator.
What's better than a cupcake? A cupcake with cookie dough inside!
Use leftover dough to make cookies, or just release your inner piglet and go after it with a spoon. (Raw cookie dough is the breakfast of champions. Trust me: I’m a distance runner. Carbo-loading is a beautiful thing.)
Makes about 28 incredibly decadent cupcakes.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
Another recipe from Emily.
French silk pie is one of the easiest and most impressive recipes in my repertoire. It’s also one of the most easily adapted for diabetics and others on sugar-free diets.
I started with the French silk pie recipe used by the Country Dove Gift Shop and Tearoom on Route 66 in Elk City, Oklahoma. The recipe — which I found in The Route 66 Cookbook, by fellow Tulsan Marian Clark — required only minor modifications to be diabetic-friendly.
For purposes of getting a blog entry done quickly, I used a frozen piecrust, but the nut crust listed in the book would be a much better choice for diabetics, as it has a much better fiber-to-carb ratio. To make the crust, you melt a stick of butter and mix it with a cup of flour and 2/3 of a cup of finely chopped nuts, press the mixture into a 10-inch pie pan, and bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
To make the filling, melt two squares of unsweetened baking chocolate and a stick and a half of butter. Mix the butter and chocolate with 1 1/3 cups of Splenda. Add two teaspoons of vanilla and mix well.
Each egg will make the filling lighter and silkier.
Let the mixture cool. Add an egg and beat with the mixer on high speed for five minutes. The mixture will start to get thick and creamy. Add another egg and beat for another five minutes. Add a third egg and beat for five more minutes. Each egg will make the filling lighter in color and silkier in texture.
Pour the mixture into your pie shell and chill for several hours. Serve with sugar-free Cool Whip. (The original recipe calls for sugar instead of Splenda, with real whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top.)
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
Emily strikes again.
People get really excited when I utter the phrase “homemade kettle corn,” as if there is something mystical and secret about mixing a little sugar into a pan of popcorn.
There is not. Kettle corn is actually very cheap and easy to make. I frequently take treats to school, and I’ve discovered that teenagers actually get more excited about a tub of kettle corn than they do about a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. I guess they figure anybody can make cookies, but kettle corn is one of those special treats that you can only get at fairs and carnivals, which makes it rare and special.
Whatever the reason, this is good for me, because cookies take roughly 10 times as much effort and expense as kettle corn, which I can make in 10 minutes or less.
To start, measure out a third of a cup of unpopped popcorn and set it aside. Get out a big saucepan or a stockpot with a lid (clear glass lids work best, because you can monitor the popping better, but an opaque lid will work in a pinch) and pour in enough vegetable oil to cover the bottom. I use canola oil, but any relatively stable oil will work — corn, peanut, whatever.
Dump in popcorn and sugar as soon as the test kernels have popped.
Toss in three “test kernels” and wait for them to pop. While you wait, measure out a quarter-cup of white sugar and set aside. Disable the smoke alarm and turn on the exhaust fan, because you will probably burn the first couple of batches before you get the hang of this.
As soon as your test kernels have popped, dump in the popcorn and sugar, cover, and give the pan a good shake. Remove it from heat, shake it around in a circular motion for three seconds, then return it to the burner for three seconds. Repeat this process until most of the corn has popped.
Remove from heat, dump into a large bowl, and sprinkle with salt, stirring gently with a wooden spoon to mix in the salt and keep the kernels from sticking together and turning into a giant popcorn ball.
Kettle corn is ridiculously easy to make.
The big trick is to keep the pan moving enough to prevent the sugar from scorching.
If some kernels are coated in what appears to be caramelized sugar, remove them before serving, as they will have a bitter, burned taste.
Enjoy the accolades of everyone fortunate enough to sample your handiwork. Kettle corn will stay crispy for several days if stored in a sealed container; just be sure to let it cool completely before closing the container to prevent condensation from ruining the texture.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
Emily is still at large in the Red Kitchen.
Under normal circumstances, I find the thought of artificial sweetener only slightly less depressing than vegan bacon, but I have a wonderful boss who happens to be Type I diabetic, and I couldn’t bear the thought of cutting him out of the Christmas candy action, so I set out to create a batch of truffles he could eat safely.
After several failed experiments involving baking chocolate mixed with various artificial sweeteners, I came up with this simple, no-cook recipe that tastes remarkably trufflish.
Mix a box of pudding mix with a package of cream cheese.
Start by getting out an 8-oz. brick of cream cheese and letting it soften on the counter for a few minutes.
To the cream cheese, add a large box of sugar-free instant chocolate pudding mix. Use a fork or a pastry blender to cream them together thoroughly.
Roll the finished truffles in finely chopped nuts.
Form the mixture into little balls about three-fourths of an inch to an inch in diameter. If you’re used to making regular truffles, the mixture will feel a little strange — kind of springy, and not all melty and ganachey like the real thing — but the finished product tastes remarkably similar to truffles, and my guinea pig boss assures me they’re wonderful.
Roll the finished truffles in finely chopped nuts (I used local pecans, but you can use whatever you have on hand) until completely coated.
Store in the refrigerator until ready to serve. Makes about 20 truffles.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
Note: Emily is still running amok in the Red Kitchen.
Our family has several important Christmas traditions. We have the Hanging of the Whizzy Thing (a colorful handmade ornament created by yours truly in 1979); the annual viewings of A Christmas Story and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation; and, of course, the ever-popular Vandalizing of the Village, which involves inflicting some sort of indignity (red lights in the houses, T.P. hanging from the trees, etc.) on Mom’s carefully hand-painted Christmas village.
One of my favorite traditions, which I picked up from Mom, involves spending an evening or two in the kitchen, making Christmas candy to share with deserving friends.
Chocolate turtles are among the easiest — yet most impressive-looking — candies you can make.
The microwave makes quick work of melting chocolate for turtles.
Begin by submerging an unopened can of sweetened condensed milk in water and boiling it for two hours, taking care to add water as necessary to keep the can covered. Let it cool completely. (I like to do this step a day or two in advance.) When you open the can, you will find that the milk has turned into soft, creamy caramel.
Once the caramel is ready, melt a bag of chocolate chips with a tablespoon or so of canola oil. The fastest way to do this is in the microwave: Nuke for 30 seconds, stir, lather, rinse, repeat. It usually takes about two minutes to get all the chocolate chips to melt.
When the chocolate has melted, line two cookie sheets with waxed paper and use a teaspoon to make thin circles of chocolate about an inch and a half in diameter. Chill the cookie sheets for a few minutes to let the chocolate set up.
Chocolate, caramel, and nuts. You know you want it.
After the chocolate has set up, spoon a little caramel into the center of each circle and sprinkle with chopped pecans. Return turtles to the refrigerator and melt half a bag of chocolate chips with another teaspoon or so of oil, following the same process as before.
Spoon melted chocolate over the top.
Spoon the melted chocolate over the turtles, taking care to cover the caramel and nuts thoroughly and seal the edges.
Chill until chocolate hardens. Store in a sealed container in the refrigerator until ready to serve. Makes about two dozen candies.
If you work efficiently, you can make a batch of turtles in about an hour and a half, not counting the time it takes for the caramel to cook.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
NOTE: Here is yet another recipe from Grace’s hippy-dippy older sister, Emily.
This recipe — which I learned from Mom — is a variation on the “Fantasy Fudge” recipe you find on the back of the marshmallow creme jar. Mom always called it “Ribbon Fudge,” but being a John Lennon fan, I like to call it “Double Fantasy Fudge.” It is, after all, simply a matter of making a double batch of fudge, with double the usual amount of marshmallow creme in each batch. Happy Xmas….
Stir constantly. An oven mitt will help protect your fingers from the heat.
To begin, combine a stick and a half of butter, a five-ounce can of evaporated milk, and three cups of sugar in a deep saucepan. Bring ingredients to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Keep stirring and cooking until mixture reaches 234 degrees (about four minutes).
♥ Chef’s Note: Be careful not to let the candy thermometer touch the bottom of the pan, or it will give an inaccurate reading that will ruin the fudge.
Pour peanut butter fudge into a pan to chill.
As soon as the mixture reaches 234 degrees, remove from heat and stir in a cup of creamy peanut butter (the cheap stuff works best), a large jar of marshmallow creme, and a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Pour into a greased 13-by-9-inch pan and place in the refrigerator to chill.
Pour the chocolate fudge on top.
Clean up all your equipment, dry it thoroughly, and then make a second batch of fudge, substituting a bag of semisweet chocolate chips for the peanut butter this time around. Pour the chocolate fudge on top of the peanut butter fudge and chill. Cut into small squares and serve. Makes about six pounds of fudge.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
NOTE: Grace is busy having a baby this week, so her sister, Emily, is filling in for her. This is another of Emily’s concoctions.
I am lazy. I am also morally opposed to the idea of eating something that is good for me unless it is dipped in something that will probably kill me before I am 40, so this recipe — which involves two ingredients and almost zero effort — is one of my favorites.
Submerge the unopened can in a deep pot of water.
First, peel the label off a can of sweetened condensed milk. I use Eagle brand because I like the taste better than some of the other brands, but any brand will work. Just make sure the can says “sweetened condensed milk” and not “evaporated milk.” They are not the same thing, and the latter absolutely will not work here.
Submerge the unopened can in a large pot of water. Boil for two hours, adding water as needed to keep the can covered. (A small stockpot is excellent for this purpose, as you can use a lot more water, thus allowing the can to remain covered longer, with less intervention from you. The deeper pot is also less likely to boil over and douse the flame if you’re using a gas stove.)
Use tongs or a jar lifter to remove the can from the water. Let it cool for an hour or two.
After boiling for two hours, the milk magically turns into caramel.
Open the can. Inside, you will find that the contents have magically turned into soft, creamy caramel that looks and tastes a lot like the inside of a Caramello bar.
Slice up an apple or two (Granny Smiths or Honeycrisps work the best, IMHO) and dip the slices in the caramel. One can of dip is usually good for about three apples.
If caramel apples don’t thrill you, try dipping oatmeal cookies or Hershey bars into the caramel instead.
This caramel also makes killer centers for chocolate turtles, as it is easy to make, easy to work with, and stays soft and creamy even when stored in the refrigerator.
– Emily
Postscript from Grace’s mother: Grace’s big event was this morning. Her second son was born at 8:09 am, weighed in at 8 pounds, 15 ounces, and measured almost 21 inches long. He and Mama are doing well and Daddy is very relieved. Big brother is quite proud, as are grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
Note: Grace’s sister, Emily, is in the Red Kitchen this week. A helmet with a full-face shield is probably advisable.
If you own a mixer, there is absolutely no reason you should ever have to sit around waiting for Cool Whip to thaw. Yes, the real thing is a little more expensive, and yes, it has a lot more fat in it … but we’re talking about a couple of tablespoons, not a couple of gallons, and if you’ve gone to all the trouble of making homemade pie for Thanksgiving, you might as well spend another buck or two to top it with something worthy of your efforts.
Pour cream, vanilla, and sugar into a bowl with deep sides. This one was too shallow and promptly made a horrendous mess.
Here’s how to do it: Start by pouring half a pint of whipping cream into a bowl with deep sides. (I started with a smaller bowl and immediately regretted it, as I ended up with cream spattered all over the kitchen.)
Add a teaspoon of vanilla extract and two to three tablespoons of sugar, depending on how sweet you want the finished product to be.
Use an electric mixer at high speed to beat the living daylights out of the cream. Move the mixer around the bowl and whip the cream until it becomes thick and fluffy. You’ll know you’re there when you pull the beaters out and the cream clings to them instead of dripping off.
The whipped cream is finished when it clings to the beaters instead of dripping off.
Word to the wise: Whipped cream is best when fresh. If it has to sit very long — especially at room temperature — it will start to weep. Non-dairy whipped topping will stay fluffy for a disturbingly long time. That’s because it has approximately the same chemical composition as airplane glue. Real whipped cream contains four ingredients: cream, sugar, vanilla, and air. That fourth ingredient is flighty. Unlike your annoying relatives, it will leave early, so it’s best to whip the cream right before you serve the pie — and unless you’re feeding an army and are sure the entire pie will be eaten immediately, you should put the whipped cream on the pie after it is sliced, not before. That way, if it starts to wilt, you can fluff it back up with the mixer.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
NOTE: Grace’s sister, Emily, is playing in the Red Kitchen without adult supervision again.
I think I had my first taste of Louisiana hot sauce when I was 4 years old. At the time, I think I was just fascinated with the pwhit-pwhit-pwhit sound the bottle made as the sauce came out, but I quickly became addicted to the spicy kick.
The only thing I like more than hot sauce is sour cream — so a recipe that gives me an excuse to eat copious amounts of both sour cream and hot sauce is bound to be a winner.
This particular recipe is also one of the easiest in my repertoire.
There is no such thing as "too much wing sauce."
Start by putting three or four chicken breasts (the flash-frozen kind that come umpteen to a bag will work fine) into your slow cooker. Pour a bottle of wing sauce over them, turn the thermostat to “high,” and ignore them for three hours or so.
(If your grocery store does not carry wing sauce, you can make your own by melting a stick of butter and mixing it with two bottles of cheap Louisiana-style hot sauce.)
Spoon some of the sauce over the chicken.
After the chicken breasts have cooked all the way through, coat a casserole dish with nonstick cooking spray and lay two corn tortillas in the bottom. Take one of the chicken breasts out of the slow cooker and place it on top of the tortillas. Hold it down with a fork while you use a second fork to shred the meat.
Spread the meat around and spoon a little of the wing sauce over it. Top with shredded cheddar cheese. You can also throw in a few sliced black olives if you happen to have some in the pantry. Continue to layer tortillas, meat, sauce, cheese, and — if desired — olives in the casserole dish, finishing with a big handful of cheese. Bake, covered, at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes. Uncover and bake another 5 minutes or until the cheese is melted and bubbly.
Serve with sour cream and black olives.
If your local discount grocer does not carry corn tortillas (Grace lives in the Midwest, so hers doesn’t, but here in Tulsa — where the Southwest begins — tortillas are as ubiquitous as bread), you can shred the chicken right in the Crock-Pot and use it as a sort of sloppy Joe filling for sandwiches. Try putting some of the meat on a hamburger bun with a little cheese and maybe a drizzle of bleu cheese or ranch dressing to balance the spiciness of the wing sauce.
Makes about six to eight servings, depending on your appetite.
For a printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.
- The fluffliest and tastiest rice I’ve ever had!
This is the wonderful rice recipe I was raised on. Both of my parents make this all the time, and while I rarely eat rice anywhere else, I can eat my weight in the stuff at their house.
(In fact, I remember how disappointed I was the first time I ordered rice at a restaurant after being spoiled by this delicious version at home my whole childhood.)
This recipe is so simple I questioned whether or not it even deserved to be a
Melt butter over medium heat.
post of its own, but I finally decided to go ahead with it after Hubby started commenting on how good the rice was during dinner the same night. I decided that was an omen.
And so, without further delay, I give you Never-Mushy Homemade Rice.
Add dry rice, dehydrated onions and salt.
Place 3 Tbs. butter or margarine in the bottom of a large saucepan and set burner heat to MEDIUM.
Let rice brown until desired "speckling" appears.
Measure 1-1/2 cups dry, white, long-grain rice and dump over the melting butter.
Add 1/4 cup dehydrated minced onion flakes and 1 teaspoon salt. Stir all ingredients over burner heat for 10-15 minutes, or until brown flecks begin to appear here and there in the rice.
Once rice mixture has many different shades of brown speckled here and there, add 3-1/2 cups water and cover saucepan.
Add water and cover immediately.
Cook over medium heat for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until rice is mostly tender.
Remove from heat and keep covered until all liquid has been absorbed into mixture and rice has completely tenderized.
So fluffy and yummy!
Enjoy with soy sauce or underneath another recipe. You won’t believe how “non-mushy” your homemade rice is, or how much flavor is bursting from something so simple!
