Goofy Recipe: Spam Fried Rice!

6 Aug

For printable version of this recipe and complete ingredients listing, click here.

Spam Fried Rice: For the degenerate slacker in all of us.

Before I begin, I want to point out to everyone that while this actually came out surprisingly yummy (to me), you have to be expecting a more tofu-like texture in your fried rice rather than a ham-like one. Ham and other regular meats take on a sort of rubbery, hard texture when stir-fried, whereas the canned Spam softens into nice little tender, melty morsels. Just so you know.

In other words, if you like tofu, (and you’re not a strict vegetarian) you should give this cheap, easy dish a try. 

carrots, celery and green onions.
Fresh veggies.

Red Kitchen Confessional: The night I first made this, Hubby had *just* been laid off, and I was fast becoming a dead ringer for Ebenezer Scrooge when balancing the checkbook. I didn’t have a Hormel coupon when I’d gone grocery shopping, so I’d purchased the store’s absolutely crap-tacularly generic-looking house-brand variety, which came in a plain white label which simply read: “Luncheon Meat Product.” When I pulled it out to start cooking, Geoff held it up with a stricken look on his face and said, “Seriously, Grace? Seriously? Like how much denial are we in that we can’t even buy actual SPAM?”

But that’s just me, folks. When the economy starts dropping, my knee starts jerking!

But where was I? Oh, right. Start by chopping 1 celery rib, 3 carrots, and several green onions. Separate half of the diced green onions from the rest of the vegetables.

Make sure the pieces are pretty small to complement their cooked texture.

Next, open a can of Spam and place the “block” of meat on a plate or cutting board, patting dry first with a paper towel if necessary. Using a serrated knife, dice the Spam into 1/2″ or smaller cubes.

Heat a deep skillet or wok over MEDIUM HIGH burner heat with about 2 tablespoons cooking oil. When warm, add vegetables (minus half of the green onions–which you already separated) and meat. Stir-fry for a couple of minutes, moving constantly with wooden spoon.

Drain and reserve the pineapple juice (about 1 cup).

Drain a large can of cubed pineapple; reserve the juice. Add the pineapple tidbits, along with 2 cubes chicken boullion, to the skillet and continue stir-frying for several minutes, until pineapple begins to carmelize in some spots.

Pineapple will carmelize.

Once fruit and Spam have started to brown, reduce heat to MEDIUM and add 3 cups leftover cooked rice to the skillet. Splash heavily with low-sodium soy sauce (or use somewhat less of the regular variety) and add the reserved pineapple juice.

(Also, if you are not using low-sodium soy sauce, you might want to cut the chicken boullion back to just one cube due to the added salt.)

Continue to stir-fry, uncovered, until most of the liquid has been absorbed.

Browned and ready for rice.

Stir in remaining onions.

Just before removing from heat, stir in the other half of the chopped green onions.

(The first half of the green onions will have cooked down, adding base flavor to the dish, and the second half will lend some crispness, texture and color to the finished plate.)

Serve immediately with prepared frozen spring rolls or crab rangoon, or thaw and reheat some leftover RKP Inside-Out Egg Rolls (click here for egg roll post!).


4 Responses to “Goofy Recipe: Spam Fried Rice!”

  1. Rheannon August 6, 2010 at 6:45 PM #

    Oh no, more SPAM and not even real but store brand! Just kidding. I hope you find some good recipes in the cookbook I sent and you can pass them along here.

  2. Gracie August 6, 2010 at 7:10 PM #

    The funny thing is, Rhee, I don’t even really care that much about Spam, either way–I just like to get a good bee in your bonnet with Spam posts. LOL

  3. Jana August 9, 2010 at 2:28 PM #

    What will you think of next!!!!

  4. Gracie August 9, 2010 at 3:06 PM #

    Spam en flambe? Spam cookies? Whipped Spam? Mwuahahahaha…(evil laugh) What luncheon loaf atrocity will strike a pose upon your lovely Pistoulet dishes next??? Stay tuned for another episode of…Cheapest Woman Alive Passes Mystery Meat Off As Real Food… 🙂

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